Embracing a Married Man, as a Single Woman

  • Embracing a Married Man, as a Single Woman

    Reaping the benefits of a warm body every day


    Louise Sawyer 2.0

    Oct 2 · 4 min read


    Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography on Unsplash

    As a single woman, is it wrong to have your daily physical contact quota met by a married man?

    This happens to be something I engage in regularly, and I adore him for it. Not so much for who he is but for what I get out of it each day. What can I say? I’m selfish.

    Before you go home and tell your husbands to run for the hills and hide from female predators in the workplace, hear me out.

    This could be your husband, and maybe he’s just a good guy, not a sneaky ass creep trying to get a piece on the side. Or maybe he’s lonely, even while married.

    As a single woman I work in close quarters with plenty of married men. We have to be in contact daily. That’s how jobs work — we have coworkers.

    There’s one particular coworker that I look forward to seeing every single day. I don’t crush on him as a man I’d like to be with but I definitely crush on the physical contact he provides me several times throughout any given work day.

    He gives me hugs. But not just any hugs. We engage in long, tight, meaningful embraces.

    For a single person who isn’t on the receiving end of much physical contact, I appreciate what he provides for me.

    He greets me at the beginning of each day with a hello hug. If he senses I’m having a FML moment throughout the day he’ll move in with more hugs. Then he sends me off to home with a really great goodnight hug.

    For me, it’s not really a sexual thing even if there is physical attraction. I’m a huggy person and will take what I can get. It just so happens that I get it from him — a married man. Whether or not there’s a sexual vibe on his end, I’ll never know and I don’t care.

    I just want the hugs.

    I suspect it’s not sexual on his end either because everyone knows he’s married, we’ve all met his wife and child on several occasions. We don’t hide our embraces at work, we just do it whenever and where ever it happens.

    We’ve worked together for years and have never engaged in risky behavior. Even at work social functions while under the influence, nothing beyond hugging has ever come into play.

    The only time it feels slightly less platonic is when it’s not a front facing hug. Occasionally, he’ll come up behind me for a different embrace. But again, he’s never insinuated anything sexual. It’s still just an embrace and I still accept it and fall back into it.

    He happens to be a good looking guy but that’s not really a factor for me. I’d hug the not so good looking ones too, if they ever moved in for it but they don’t. Only he does.

    Embracing him gives me a calm feeling of security. He’s much taller than I am, so it just feels good. I fit into his hugs comfortably and I adore the feeling. It satiates me.

    I’m a selfish person and there’s plenty of benefit in this hugging deal for me, but I sometimes wonder what exactly is in it for him? He has a wife to go home to and get all the physical contact he wants, so why does he need it in the workplace? And why only from me?

    Perhaps it’s because I’ve told him more than once that his are the only hugs I ever get, and that I appreciate him. Perhaps it’s just an opportunity for him to feel up a woman who’s not his wife, under the disguise of a hug.

    It’s quite possible that I’m disillusioned in thinking only my needs are being met because clearly there’s something in it for him too.

    Maybe we’re just two lost people craving the platonic touch of another human. What am I giving him that his wife isn’t? Or maybe she is but he still wants more of it.

    Who knows and who cares, as long as there’s something in it for me!

    I just want the hugs.